One of the hardest things to do when you are an emerging leader or even a veteran leader is to get authentic feedback. About 5 to 7 years into my career as Director of Athletics, I was in my groove and had helped lead the program to new heights. We had elevated our program from being amongst the very worst in the province/country to new records. We were making the playoffs. We were achieving some of our goals, but I had higher ambitions. I wanted to build a high-performance culture.

When I noticed my progress had stalled, I actively sought out feedback. I kept asking folks about what we could do better, but I just wasn’t getting the nuggets I needed. The truth of the matter is–nobody wants to criticize the boss. I decided to bring in an external consultant to take an in-depth look at our programs and my leadership. My goal was for them to bring forward genuine feedback that people absolutely knew, but were reluctant to share, for my review and reflection. 

The Importance of Anonymity

When you don’t provide anonymity in the feedback gathering phase, folks have a tendency to tell you what you want to hear. Most people want to be nice to you or deliver soft, flowery ways to hint at problems. This means you don’t always get the true message or to the heart of the issues that need to be addressed.

I’ll never forget the first time I read my feedback report. It was titled, Little Things Make Big Things Happen. It was based on the results of a series of one-on-one interviews with all my staff. The consultant gathered the feedback into themes--things that we were doing really well (praises, props, kudos, excellence) and things that we were doing poorly (areas of improvement, significant threats, weaknesses). Like any high-performing leader, my brain went straight to the negative. I wasn’t interested in the praise. I wanted to see the keys to improvement. Boy was that a mistake! It hit me right in the gut. At first, I had my back up. I felt like it was really unfair feedback. I was defensive. I felt the tension rise in my body. My first thoughts were angry, ‘Who the heck are they? What do they know?’ Clearly, I wasn’t as confident as I thought I was. 

Settle Down and Let Down Your Guard

My first reaction to the critical feedback was to dismiss it. I needed to pause and write myself an email. It went something like this:

“I know this is a kick in the gut. Take a moment. Let the emotion wash over you, and hear what people are saying. This is their truth.”

Spread the News

Next, I shared the report with my direct reports. I did this step because making big changes that impact the whole organization and moving the needle takes everyone making adjustments. It was tough for them to hear because some of this feedback was directly aimed at their piece of the puzzle. It’s hard not to be defensive and want to dismiss feedback as disingenuous or minimize it as a few sour-grapes people complaining. When I saw that angst coming from them the same way it was triggered in me, I pulled up the email I had written so they could see my initial reaction. It was no different than theirs. We were in this together.

Make a Plan

When all that emotional posturing was done, we challenged ourselves to acknowledge that the feedback had merit. I asked the team, ‘Now, what are we going do about it?’ Together we crafted a straight, no-nonsense plan with action steps designed to address the issues that were being raised. This plan should have timelines, benchmarks with each issue assigned to someone on your team to have ownership of.

Transparency Gains Trust

It was then time for us to share the feedback along with the plan. This step is important because leaders need to be transparent. There’s nothing worse than taking the time to gather feedback but doing nothing about it. If you bring people in to share their insights, they are going to expect change. If they don’t see or hear anything change, they’re going to believe this was just another wasted check-the-box exercise. If we wait for a big reveal when we think we’ve fixed everything, we create a perception problem unnecessarily.  

Hold Your Feet to the Fire

The final step towards seeking and embracing critical feedback might surprise you. I shared my report with my bosses and the HR department. I revealed all my warts and blemishes for the world to see because I needed somebody to hold my feet to the fire. While this might seem strange to some folks and a little worrisome, I’m going to challenge you:  

If you’re serious about creating change, then share the things you are working on with your supervisors, so that they can be a part of the solution.  

Whether it’s through words of encouragement and praise or with tight deadlines and some tough love, we all need to change. It was the best thing to help spur my motivation. I’m always afraid of failing. Knowing that others were fully aware of this feedback and my plan to improve caused me to hyper-focus. I was fully committed and motivated to deliver and move my team towards deliberate and intentional growth.

Remember folks, critical feedback is good for a high-performance culture. The higher up we are in the organization, the harder it is to get to the truth of how we can really do it better. Find ways to flush it out. Anonymous surveys, suggestion boxes and trusted insider advisors are just a few examples for times when you don’t have the resources to bring in an external consultant. Most of all, remember that feedback makes you better and moves you towards your goals.

#You Got This.