When I first started recruiting, as a soccer coach, I did what most young coaches do.

I sold the dream.

I talked about playing under the prestige of an athletic scholarship. I mentioned the possibility of being drafted into MLS. I even hinted at playing in Europe. I built and featured shiny facilities and included it all in the sizzle of the highlight reel.

I ignored what I call the ‘warts and wrinkles:’ the small-town vibe (There wasn’t even a stoplight in town.); the 30-minute drive to McDonald’s or Walmart; and the curfews for the opposite genders in the residence halls.

My strategy worked … Sort of.

We would bring in a player from Toronto, or Los Angeles, or Mexico City, and suddenly, they were standing in a town of 1,500 people in the middle of Iowa cornfields. To call it culture shock would be generous. There were growing pains. For every player who adapted, another quietly decided, “This isn’t for me.”

I would pour resources into developing them—strength training, tactical systems, film breakdown, mentorship, and character development. Just when they were about to become impact players, just when the return on investment was about to show up…

Boom. They were gone.

It became an endless cycle. Recruit the talent. Develop the talent. Replenish the talent, just as they were getting good. Our progress stalled. The program plateaued, and I was exhausted.

That’s when a wise mentor and championship coach gave me advice that changed everything:

“Recruit on the front end.”

At first, I didn’t understand what he meant. Then he clarified, “Tell them why they shouldn’t come. You will wean out the ones right away that know this place isn’t for them.”

The Counterintuitive Strategy That Saved Our Program

Instead of leading with the shiny things, I started leading with the unvarnished truth.

There’s no nightlife. There’s no bar in town. You’ll have a curfew. It’s quiet. Very quiet. If you need big-city energy, this isn’t it.

Here’s what we do offer:

• Relational depth.
• Individual attention.
• Professional standards.
• A chance to build something historic. 

Something fascinating happened.

When I sent 1,000 recruiting emails, instead of 500 responses, I got 50. From those 50, maybe 10 came to campus for a visit. From those 10, five or six would say yes, “This is exactly what I’m looking for.” They enrolled and stayed. They fought. They ran through walls. They were loyal to the end when other programs came to try and poach them away. These players became the leadership foundation for our change and rise to national excellence.

Why This Works: The Science of Fit

This isn’t just anecdotal coaching wisdom. When leaders oversell and under-clarify, they create what researchers call ‘Expectation Violation.’ Studies published in the Journal of Applied Psychology consistently show that unmet expectations are one of the strongest predictors of early turnover. 

In other words: It’s not difficulty that drives people away. It’s surprise. When recruits arrived expecting bright lights and got tumbleweeds, they felt misled—even if unintentionally. When we told them exactly what to expect, adversity wasn’t betrayal. It was part of the package, and they had already chosen it.

The Endless Cycle of Misalignment

When leaders oversell:

• Turnover increases.
• Morale dips.
• Development resources are wasted.
• Culture never stabilizes.

We were stuck in what I call ‘Rinse & Repeat Leadership:' always onboarding; always rebuilding; but, never compounding. Progress requires continuity. Continuity requires commitment. Commitment requires alignment. You cannot build excellence on revolving doors.

Recruiting Is a Two-Way Street

Here’s where this lesson expands beyond athletics. Recruiting on the front end isn’t just for leaders. It’s for talent too.

• If you want flexible hours for your kids, speak up.
• If you expect promotion in 12 months, ask about it.
• If you want virtual work, clarify that. If culture matters—ask for examples of how they build it.
• Don’t accept a job hoping it morphs into your ideal scenario.

Hope is not strategy. Silence during recruitment becomes resentment during employment. Too many professionals say, “Yes,” while mentally negotiating changes that were never promised. Then six months later, they’re frustrated. The organization didn’t change. The expectations did.

Angela Duckworth’s research on grit shows that sustained perseverance is fueled by meaning. When people willingly choose difficulty that is aligned with their values, they endure differently. The same hardship interpreted two ways produces two different outcomes: “This place is isolated,” versus, “This place allows me to focus.” Meaning fuels endurance.

Why Leaders Avoid Brutal Honesty

Let’s be honest: brutal honesty shrinks your pipeline. When I started recruiting this way, 1,000 emails turned into 25 responses. That’s terrifying.

Here’s the truth: The cost of misalignment is higher than the cost of scarcity. Every early departure drains culture, erodes trust, and can be contagious. Broken expectation weakens leadership credibility. Volume recruiting builds cultural instability. Value-based recruiting builds dynasties. When values align, something extraordinary happens:

People go beyond the job description.

They stop saying, “That’s not my job.” They stop looking for greener grass at the first sign of adversity. When was the last time you were ruthlessly truthful in recruitment or in your expectations? The more honest you are about your imperfections, the more attractive you become to the right people. Authenticity signals confidence. Confidence builds trust, and trust sustains excellence.

If you want retention, start with clarity.

If you want loyalty, start with truth.

If you want championships—in business or sport—recruit on the front end.

You don’t need everyone. You need the right ones. When you find them, they won’t leave when adversity hits. They’ll run through the wall with you.