I spent the weekend catching up on American Idol. I love that show. I feel like it’s one of the last TV shows a family can gather around that everyone can enjoy. It takes me back to my childhood--Sunday nights on the farm watching The Magical World of Disney and Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom with Marlon Perkins (a throwback for those of you of my vintage reading this blog).

As much as I loved the talent, what really stood out was the feedback they were giving some of the youngest performers. It was never a hard ‘No’—it was a NOT YET. That’s such a powerful message. It inspires hope and optimism while letting people know they’re on the right track: keep working, keep grinding and pursuing your craft.

The Difference Between “No” and “Not Yet”

“No” is failure… and it feels final.

“Not yet” is fuel.

This isn’t just motivational language—it’s grounded in research.

Psychologist Carol Dweck and her work on the growth mindset showed that people who believe abilities can be developed are far more likely to persist, adapt and ultimately succeed. In one of her most cited studies, students who were told they hadn’t mastered something 'yet' were more likely to re-engage with the task, seek strategies and improve over time.

That one word—yet—changes behavior because it reframes the situation from IDENTITY (“I failed.”) to PROCESS (“I’ve got a way to go, but I’m on track.”).

“Not Yet” Builds Real Resilience

Resilience isn’t about gritting your teeth and pretending things don’t hurt. Resilience is how quickly and effectively you interpret setbacks—and respond. The key part most people miss is this: you can’t just go back and work longer or faster on the same things you were doing before. You must pair effort with feedback and adjustment. This is where an authentic coach—or your own honest self-reflection—comes into play.

Just this past weekend, I ran a recruiting event. Before participants even left, we had delivered feedback to each of them and already begun our internal STOP–START–CONTINUE process of evaluating the event itself. Without this process, you don’t move towards your goals or build resilience—you build repetition and double-down on the status quo.

The best leaders don’t ask: “Did we win or lose?”

They ask:

• "What did we learn?"
• "What should we keep doing?"
• "What must change immediately?"
• "What's something new we should try next?"

Final Thought

I want to remind you: The goal is not to avoid failure.

On the other side of failure is where your greatness lives, but only if you do something with it. Don’t sit there and hope next time will be different. Study it. Own it. Adjust. Attack it again, because every time you say “failure,” you close a door. Every time you say, “not yet,” you step through one, and on the other side is:

Growth.
Confidence.
Momentum.
Excellence.

So, keep going. Keep learning, and when the moment comes:  

Go earn your Golden Ticket.