How to Recover After a Public Mistake and Rebuild Your Confidence
Oct 08, 2024I have recently been working with an emerging leader who is leading their first team. They are so excited to be managing people that their enthusiasm got the better of them, and they made a very public mistake. Long story short, they made a scheduling error which led to people being at the wrong place at the wrong time. It made an event last three times as long as needed and tripled the cost of resources. On top of all of that, the performance of the team suffered because of the distraction of the mistake. It was a debacle. Needless to say, they were horrified and panic stricken that they had blown it and lost all credibility as a leader.
My words of advice for this young superstar…
We all make mistakes—it's a fundamental part of growth.
I know, when mistakes happen publicly at work, it can feel like the end of the road. Your confidence takes a hit. Your reputation may feel tarnished, and you might even start to question your abilities. Here’s the truth: It’s not the mistake that defines you, but how you respond to it. Here’s how you can recover and rebuild your confidence after a very public misstep.
Acknowledge the Mistake Openly
When your mistake is public, so should your acknowledgment be. Trying to hide or downplay the situation only makes things worse. Take responsibility, and own up to it. Leaders are not perfect, and the best leaders know how to be transparent about their mistakes. Doing so not only shows integrity but also helps diffuse the situation. Your team will respect you more for your honesty and accountability.
Tip: Keep your apology sincere and focused on the impact, not excuses. “I made an error, and I see how it has affected our work. Here’s what I’m doing to address it…” This demonstrates that you're committed to making things right.
Genuinely Reflect on “What am I hear to Learn?”
Once you've acknowledged the mistake, it’s important to reflect on it. Making mistakes can be embarrassing. We tend to want to move through them quickly and often jump at the first and simplest possible solution when we are trying to find the lesson to learn. I encourage you to pause and chew on where things went wrong a bit longer. Ask yourself the question 5 times, and dig deeper each time for a better answer. When we take the time to look at what happened thoroughly, we often find more impactful lessons learned for the next time we are faced with a similar challenge.
Don’t Dwell
Now that you’ve identified the lesson to learn, avoid ruminating—there’s a fine line between productive reflection and self-criticism. Don’t let it consume you. Once the course is reset, catch yourself when your thoughts return to the shame and give your head a shake. Instead of wasting precious time and diminishing your momentum, replace those heavy negative memories with affirmations about what your new aim is: “This time I’ve got a plan and will do better.”
Reset Expectations
Your confidence may feel shattered after a mistake, but this is the perfect opportunity to reset expectations—both your own and those of others. It’s easy to let a public error feed into imposter syndrome, making you feel inadequate or undeserving of your role. Don’t let one failure define your future. Instead, focus on small, achievable wins. This will help rebuild your self-assurance incrementally. Let your actions following the mistake demonstrate your resilience, not your insecurity. People will soon forget the mistake and remember how you handled it.
Rebuild Your Confidence Gradually
Confidence is like a muscle—it needs exercise to grow. After a public mistake, you may not feel like diving right back into the spotlight, but taking small, confident steps will help rebuild your sense of self-worth. Start by setting small, achievable goals and celebrating each success. Gradually, you’ll regain the momentum and confidence you once had.
Tip: Focus on tasks and projects where you can demonstrate your strengths. Remind yourself of your past successes and know that this one mistake doesn’t define your entire career.
Let It Go
Lastly, at some point, you must allow yourself to move on. Everyone else will. Once you’ve learned from the mistake, apologized and taken steps to rectify it, it’s time to release it. Holding onto guilt or embarrassment only holds you back. Accept that you’re human, capable of errors but equally capable of growth.
Tip: Practice self-compassion. Give yourself permission to let go of the mistake and move forward. You are not your errors; you are the person who has the power to learn from them and grow.
You Got This!!