Several times in my career I have noticed that I can get in a funk at work--a righteous, holier than thou, grumpy kind of funk. 

I have this urge to control everything. This can be exhausting conflict creating and rob you of joy. I need to take a page out of Mel Robbin’s new book, and just, “Let Them”.  Simply stated, I needed to let it go (cue Elsa Sound track here). I need to hold onto my belief from within rather than relying on external validation or action. I need to lean into my self-confidence, and just let go of trying to change the entire world.

The Power of Letting Go

When we try to change people—whether it's employees, colleagues, or even friends—we waste valuable energy on something outside of our influence. Instead, by accepting people as they are, we gain clarity, reduce stress, and empower ourselves to focus on what truly matters.

Confidence is not about convincing others of your worth—it’s about knowing it yourself. I have found that trying to control others only leads to frustration and burnout. 

Building Self-Confidence Through “Let Go” Leadership

Trust Yourself First

A leader who trusts their own judgment doesn’t need to seek constant approval. When faced with opposition or doubt from others, instead of reacting defensively, simply LET GO. Let them underestimate you. Let them criticize while you stay focused on your goals.

Empower Others Instead of Controlling Them

Great leaders create high-performing teams not by micro-managing but by instilling confidence in their people. My most successful teams have been built on trust, clear expectations and autonomy.

Redefine Success

Many leaders measure success by external approval. Did my team like my decision? Did my boss acknowledge my effort? Success isn’t about whether people agree with you—it’s about whether you stayed true to your values and vision while delivering needed results.

Let Go of Fear-Based Leadership

Leaders often fear being seen as weak or making mistakes. This fear drives them to overcompensate by exerting control. Letting go of fear frees you to act with the right motivation. If an employee doesn’t meet expectations—let go of thinking that is about you, and coach them through it. If a peer disagrees with your strategy—let go of taking it personally, and stay focused on your expertise. This shift in mindset leads to more authentic and decisive leadership.

Real-World Applications of “Letting Them”

Corporate Leadership

Consider a VP who struggles with delegation. They constantly check in, rework team projects, overrule decisions and only accept recommendations without giving their team members any autonomy to act. Not only does this frustrate employees, but it also signals a lack of trust.

Successful, innovative organizations, lead from a position of TRUST. In these healthy organizational cultures, VPs focus on strategic vision instead of control, stepping back from day-to-day operations, allowing their team to take ownership, and focus on strategic vision instead of control.

If you find that you aren’t getting the outcomes you hoped for from your team, re-consider how clearly you articulated your vision, the scope and scale you expected. Ask team members what barriers might have kept them from achieving your desired outcome. Perhaps you can put your efforts into clearing the way of bureaucracy, building organizational support or raising more funds.

Emerging Leader

An ambitious employee may feel discouraged when passed over for a promotion. Instead of fixating on why you weren’t chosen, don’t take it personally and derail your reputation. Let it Go! Let the company make their decision while you keep growing and improving. Confidence means knowing your worth regardless of external recognition. Enrol in a new training to upskill, give service to your community with that extra energy, or increase your networking to see what external opportunities might be possible routes to your goals.

The Takeaway: Lead with Confidence. Let Go of Control.

Leadership is not about controlling outcomes or managing people’s opinions. It’s about showing up with confidence and empowering others to do the same. The next time you find yourself stressing over someone else’s actions, pause and repeat your mantra:  LET IT GO. You may find that in letting go, you gain more than you ever expected.